אדם חושב מתוך שהוא מתקדם באמת בעבודת השם, בחסדיו ית‘, שהוא כבר במדרגה ההוא שהוא עכשיו מתנהג כן. ובאמת אע“פ שהוא אכן קנה מידה זו באיזה קנין אמיתית, ובעז“ה הוא ימשיך לנהוג כן, ולקנות המידה בשלמות, מ“מ מה שהוא מתנהג כשורה עתה, זה עדיין לא מוכיח שהוא תיקן כבר את העבר, כל החיים שחי עד שבחסדי השם הוא התעורר לשפר את דרכו. (וצריך לזכור היטב מהיכן הוא בא, ושהוא לא הגיע למעלותיו מכחותיו של עמצו לבד, אלא בעיקר מרחמיו ית‘ המרובים, הרוצה כ“כ להטיב לו
וקורה שהקב“ה מראה לאדם כזה, שאשתו ובני ביתו מסביב לו לא מתנהגים כפי מדרגה זו שהוא כ“כ שמח בה, אלא מתנהגים במדרגה פחותה, השייך לחייו הקודמים. לטובתו. כי הוא עלול להתרעם עליהם ולדרוש מהם להתנהג כשורה, כמו שהוא מכיר עכשיו שחייב להתנהג. אבל אין לכעוס ולתבוע מהם, כי הם עושים כן מרצון השם, כדי שהוא יבין בדרכי השם, ויסבול אותם בסבלנות. ועל ידי שתיקתו וכבישת כסעו הוא מתקן את העבר. ואפשר ודאי לבטוח בהשם יתברך שסוף סוף הם גם כן יתנגו כדבעי
How does his remaining silent and containing his disappointment effect a tikun of the past? Because he now experiences the disappointment the Borei had (has) with him?
JDS
I was waiting for someone to ask that. Baruch Hashem.
The silence is a 1) a recognition that his present medraga was not achieved solely by his own merit, rather mainly by chasdei Hashem. The silence comes from embarrassment in the face of the awesome gift that has been given to him. The ikar tikkun is through that he remains humble even though he has been raised-up. Were he to express anger that he has not been followed by others in his advance, this would exhibit that he considers that he merited his advances by his own efforts. Silence and submission is testimony of his acceptance of the mastery of Hashem over his life, over his success, which is the ikar tikkun of the past, because the principle reason for failure or lack of advancement in the past stemmed from lack of recognition of the power and kindness of Hashem.
2) The fact that his family has not progressed to his new level should be seen by him as evidence that the past has not yet been corrected. It is as if they are relating to him as if he has not changed. When a person makes complete repentance the sin is wiped out entirely; this means that even the past has been corrected, no impression remains. Thus after this kind of repentance people will not remember his “old-self” and will relate to him anew, as a new-born person. The fact that others still relate to him as he was, testifies that the past still exists, has not been corrected. What can he do more to uproot the past? He has already changed completely! Thus by patiently and quietly accepting the evidence that the effects of the past have not yet been eradicated from reality, this humility has the power to effect the rest of the tikkun, for each moment of silence is tsheuvah upon tsheuvah. The klipah cannot stand against this power of tsheuvah and will eventually dissolve altogether.
I hope that this helped some. Thank you! kal tuv sela!
painting:
אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא דסגידנא קמה ומקמא דיקר אוריתא בכל עדן ועדן.
(מתפילה – פתיחת הארון)
I am a servant of the Holy One Blessed is He, and I prostrate myself before Him and before the glory of his Torah at all times.
(from the prayer “Blessed is the Name” upon the opening of the Aron HaKodesh)
Oil on canvas ציור שמן
תשס”ח